EVEN IN DEATH
by WREIN
Summary: “Yes… heaven is thine…But…this is a world of sweets…And sours. Our flowers are merely…Flowers. And…The shadow…Of thy…Perfect Bliss…Is the…Sunshine…of ours…” .Post-anime.*WARNING*character death It's kind of...DARK, too *Summary is an excerpt from "Israfel


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A/N: This is a one-shot deal. Seriously. It's dedictated to 0ExTwenty because I couldn't write a good one-shot for the request _"Six Different Kinds of Love"_ and therefore I didn't post anything for that. I should probably warn that this FF has character death. And it's post-anime. Oh, and it just _looks_ really long. It's not that long though. Okay, now, Enjoy!

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****EVEN IN DEATH**

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—**Magdalene Order—**

**11:00 p.m. **

He clutched at his head. There they were.

_Joshua…_

_Joshua._

_Joshua! _

_Laughter._

_Blonde pigtails._

_Blue eyes._

He squeezed his eyes tightly shut.

_Stop…STOP!_ He screamed in his mind.

_Stop, Please._

His hands clutched tightly at his ears, covering them—trying to stop the thoughts…the voices…

The Memories.

_A violet braid blew in the warm late spring air._

_A tan hand waved._

_A tentative smile drew across his lips._

_Dark red eyes._

_Joshua…_

_More laughter._

_Running._

His eyes snapped open. He could swear they were there—his dream people. Shadows danced on the dark night-painted walls.

_Soft eyes._

"_It's okay, Joshua…_

_I'll protect you."_

_It wasn't okay._

"_Do you want to be STRONGER?"_

_Yes._

_Stronger._

"_Take these then…"_

He reached out his hands. They were there, right in front of him. The pigtailed blonde with shining blue eyes…

_Rosette…_

_Sis…_

She was there. Sis…she was there. Right in front of him.

And…

The demon. The demon with the kind red eyes and purple hair. They were there. He looked at their wavy apparitions and reached out with shaky hands, sweat beading on his forehead and neck.

_Rosette…Sis…_

_Chrono…_

_You're here…_

…_**You're really here…**_

He reached out for them…they were just beyond his fingertips. He could almost feel their breaths as they spoke his name softly to him.

They looked at him and smiled. Smiled their soft…gentle…loving…smiles.

Then they were gone.

And he screamed.

The door slammed open.

"Joshua?! _Joshua!?! Are you okay?"_

But that wasn't the voice he was looking for.

He looked at the door. His eyes wavering on the edge of tears.

The girl stood silhouetted against the doorway, her chest heaving, her white-pink hair seeable in the darkness. She hurried over to his sweating, shaking, broken form.

"Joshua?" She asked softly. "Joshua, are you okay? What's wrong? …what's wrong?"

"_Rosette…_" he murmured. "_Chro…no…"_ He choked out the names that sounded so foreign, yet…familiar…on his tongue…

Then his eyes cleared. And the look of almost-tearfulness disappeared. And he forgot everything. His conciseness would not let him remember. He would not let himself remember what he had done.

_What he had made _her_ do because of his decisions._

The girl enclosed him tightly in her embrace as her eyes began to tear-up, her face wavering, trying to keep as strong a façade as she could with the uttered names fresh in thought.

"Joshua," She whispered, her voice on the edge of breaking, "Joshua…_they're gone. They're both gone now._"

But he knew they weren't.

She rubbed his back and smoothed his hair, kissed his forehead. Then she laid him back down in the bed, pulling the sheets back over him. She said an almost inaudible goodnight and she was gone. The door closed silently behind her, the faint light of the hallway disappearing along with it.

He laid there a moment, falling into a state of almost-sleep. Then…

_Laughter._

They weren't.

They weren't gone.

How could they be when they were right here—laughing, smiling, _singing_—to him?

They weren't gone.

How could they be…

How could they be…gone?

They were right here. He smiled shakily up at them as they danced and ran around him, shadows catching on their forms and sunlight playing across their faces. They were right here.

_Yes. They're right here._

He reached his hands out to them.

_They're lying. You're both here…right here…with me._

His hands shook as the tentative smile on his face quivered.

_Blonde pigtails flew in a circle._

_Her form played around his hands._

_Just out of reach._

_She turned back around._

_Grinned._

_Pulled at one eye and blew a raspberry._

He grinned back and surged foreword, arms outreached, to catch her—

And he fell in heap into the puddle of moonlight that shone in through the window.

_Her pale fingers held the demon's…Chrono's…hand as she stood in front of the window. _

_They turned back to look at him._

_Smiled their soft smiles._

_And stepped foreword._

_Through the window._

He made of sound of protest.

Then got up.

He followed them to the window.

The curtains pulled aside, he pushed the window open.

There they were.

In the moonlight, in the courtyard below.

_They danced._

_Sprinted from place to place._

_Chased after one another._

_The violet haired demon stopped._

_Turned to look at him._

_Grinned widely._

_And beckoned him forth._

"_Come," he was saying._

"_Let's go," they were saying._

He grinned back.

_Okay._

The moon laid down a path of pale light on the soft brown earth and they skipped down it.

And he followed them.

Every now and then he would run out of breath.

_Then the blonde would pull at the demons' arm._

_Stop him._

_Turn to look worriedly at _him_._

_At Joshua._

He would smile and start after them again.

_They would never leave him._

_They _couldn't_ leave him, here, all by himself._

He followed them as they ran and skipped and stopped and laughed down a dirt path he had not seen before.

They climbed the path up a hill with shin-high pale, moon-lit, grass.

And stopped in front of a big tree.

_The blonde girl stopped and smiled at him from beside the tree._

He smiled back.

Everyone was wrong.

They were here.

Right here.

_The girl turned to look at the demon-boy quickly. _

_Then she turned to face him._

_Her face was sad now._

_She said something_

He couldn't hear.

He couldn't understand.

What was wrong?

_The blonde disappeared behind the tree. _

_The demon-boy along with her, his hand still clasped in hers._

Wait! He wanted to shout.

He didn't.

He could see it.

_Their shadows long and thin, drawn out by the light of the moon, stretched from behind the tree._

_Hidden._

He hurried after them.

And stopped.

And gaped.

_They stood before a gravestone. _

_Holding hands._

_Looking at the tomb._

He peered past their figures, at the cold gray stone beyond.

His eyes wavered. He wanted to look away.

But he couldn't.

He stood there. Looking at the stone as if it had hypnotized him.

And, in a way, it had.

_The girl turned back to look at._

_The sad smile on her face._

_The demon turned, too._

"_We're already gone…"_

"No…" he whispered.

It wasn't true. It couldn't be.

They were right there.

In. Front. Of. Him.

They couldn't be gone.

The guilt started in his stomach.

It gnawed its way up his esophagus, until it was burning—achingly hurting—his heart.

The love.

_Their forms started fading. _

_The night becoming more visible through their disappearing bodies._

_Their shadows…_

_Their shadows were thinning._

_Turning to nothing._

No…it couldn't be!

He ran up to them.

Reached to them with eager, desperate fingers.

And it reached right through thin air.

There was nothing there.

And he gave a startled, panicked cry, falling to his knees on the fresh earth before him.

No…

_No_.

_**NO!**_

They were there!

_They're still here! _

_THEY ARE!_

His fingers grabbed at the soft, pliable dirt, damp in the light chill of the night against his sweating hands.

He started digging.

It couldn't be.

Those people…

Those other people…

_THEY'RE LYING!_

He kept digging.

Running his hand through the damp chill earth.

_They can't be under all this!_

_They won't be able to breath!_

And, indeed, they wouldn't be able to.

They wouldn't need to.

But.

He could hear it.

Singing.

"_Yes…_

_heaven is thine…_

_But…_

_this is a world of sweets…_

_And sours._

_Our flowers are merely…_

_Flowers._

_And…_

_The shadow…_

_Of thy…_

_Perfect Bliss…_

_Is the…_

_…Sunshine…_

_…of ours…"_

He could hear it.

Her singing.

Their song.

His and Rosettes'.

Sweat beaded and streamed down his forehead as he exerted himself in digging.

And digging.

…and digging…

Then.

He felt it.

The hardness of the wood beneath his fist.

And he shoved away the dirt.

He smiled.

He would take them away.

He would take them back.

Back to when they were at the orphanage.

They would be together again.

Rosette, Chrono, and him.

He pulled at the edge of the lid.

The lid that Rosette was hiding behind.

_They're just playing hide-and-seek._

And he'd found them.

He grinned.

Chrono was probably hiding with Rosette, too.

And the lid came off.

There they were.

Rosette…looked funny.

_But that doesn't matter._

He wondered when she'd cut her hair.

_Chrono looks the same, though_.

He smiled.

"I found you." He whispered.

And he pulled up their bodies, one at a time, whining about how heavy they were.

But he was happy.

_See?_

_They're here._

_Right here._

They smelled of musk and he wrinkled his nose as he teased them about it.

"When was the last time you took a shower, Rosette?" He asked with a teasing grin on his face. "You stink."

The east horizon was an awe-inspiring multitude of gold and red hues, painting the surrounding landscape with a soft pink shading.

He turned to the east, facing away from the direction he had come from and towards the great lake that lay before him, below the hill.

Towards the sunrise.

"Look, Chrono, Rosette."

He propped them up beside him, against the tree.

He could hear their soft, whispered words.

_It's so warm here…_

_I want it to be like this forever._

"See, sis? Isn't it nice here." he smiled as he sat between them. "It's so warm…just like that one time…"

_Rosette in the lead._

_A hill with grass up to their knees._

_The setting sun at their side, warming them as they climbed._

"_It's so warm here…I want it to be like this forever."_

_She stopped, smiled, her face tilted up._

"Yeah…" he smiled as he leaned his head against her shoulder.

"It's so warm here…Rosette…Chrono…"

_Shh…it's okay now, Joshua. You can rest now…_

His eyes closed halfway.

"I'm…home." He whispered.

He took a deep breath.

Slowly let it out.

"I'm sorry…Let's stay like this…forever…"

_It's okay, Joshua. _

_You're home._

_Let's stay like this forever._

"Yeah…okay…Sis…"

His head dipped down.

His eyes closed.

_I'm…_

_Home…_

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∞ஜ∞

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—**Magdalene Order—**

**8:00 a.m.**

The blonde man yawned and stretched.

_We're probably going to have to ask Chrono to wake Rosette up ag—_

He stopped mid-thought. They weren't here anymore. He smiled sadly as he trudged across the courtyard of the Magdalene Order.

_But,_ he thought, _I have to keep going. There is still Joshua._

He thought sadly about how Rosette had fought so hard to find him—her little brother—willing to do anything to just find him again.

He stopped mid-stride as he glanced at the window.

Joshua's window.

Something was wrong.

It was open.

He ran towards the curtains that were flapping in the light morning breeze. He looked in through the open window, just as someone knocked at the door and Azmaria peeked into the room. There was a pause for both of them.

Then Azmaria slammed the door open, a scared look of confusion, worry, and others etched on her young face as Remington hopped up inside and started looking around.

"Where's Joshua?" Azmaria asked as she met up with him in the middle of the small room.

Joshua was gone.

Ewan searched the room quickly, scanned everything with his eyes for clues of anything.

"I-I don't know." He said at last.

Azmaria suddenly gasped.

"Oh my god…" she whispered. "Oh no…it can't be…"

She turned to look at the Father, scared.

"What?!" Remington asked, rather harshly, worried.

"Yesterday…yesterday…" the young girl stuttered, "Last night I came in here…I heard him scream, so I came…to check up on him."

She looked him in the eyes, her voice softened to just above a whisper.

"He said…_their_ names…it can't be…" She choked up. She couldn't say their names yet. They had just been…buried…yesterday morning. It was still too hard to even mention them.

Ewan jumped back out the window, running towards the path.

_The path to _their_ graves_.

Azmaria joined him, hurrying as much as he was, right on his heels, they ran up the path. Others had followed behind them, worried by their pace and scared faces. Among them were Sister Kate, Sister Ann, Mary, and Claire.

"Remington, I order you to tell me what in blue blazes is going on!" Sister Kate shouted as she hurried after them. She knew where this path led.

Ewan and Azmaria abruptly stopped in startled surprise as the finally came the top of the hill, a gasp escaping the young girl with pale hair as she witnessed what lay before them.

All the others stopped just as abruptly behind them. Disgusted and surprised gasps alike filled the air at the others arrival.

"What…" Sister Kate croaked in a near-whisper, "What…happened…here…?" Her voice broke on the last word, coming out cracked in two.

The words broke the first two from their surprised stupor though.

They hurried forward to the pile of unearthed dirt that lay around the gaping hole in the ground.

Inside, the coffin lay empty.

Remington's face darkened, his eyes lowering, as he scoured the area for anything that might tell where the bodies had gone.

And he caught view of a bare foot hidden behind the tree.

He walked slowly, unsure if he really wanted to see what was behind the tree.

Azmaria was two steps ahead of his slow pace, though.

And another horrified gasp escaped her as her hands came up to cover her mouth, her shoulders shaking. Her eyes tearing up.

And she fell to her knees, breaking down into heart-breaking, choking sobs.

Remington followed quickly now.

And stopped dead, Kate at his side.

They found Joshua.

He sat, slouched, between the bodies of Rosette and Chrono.

Remington moved foreword.

He shook Joshua gently by the shoulder, avoiding looking at either Rosette or Chrono.

He didn't move. He didn't wake.

Horror filled Remington.

_It couldn't be…!_

He put his hand under Joshua's nose.

No air brushed his fingers.

He pressed his fingers quickly into Joshua's neck, checking for a sign of life—any life!

But there was nothing.

Not even a fluttering heartbeat.

He was gone.

And Remington broke down into tears right there. Second time he had cried in the time-span of just two days.

He cried.

He couldn't save Joshua.

Kate came up beside him and Azmaria, tears in her eyes, too.

"May…maybe…it's better this way." She choked back a sob and continued, "They're finally all together now. They're…home."

And she couldn't hold it in anymore. They sat there, in their little huddled group, and cried.

But…

_They're home now…at least…_

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**A/N: Okaaaay...how was that? I hope it wasn't _too_ confusing. Oh, and I kind of got inspired to write this after listening to _Evanescence_'s song by the same name. You should go listen to it. Oh, and please Review! Thanks! =)**


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